2 Dollars for 2 Puppets

Mom scores big at a local garage sale.


Night Night Ernie and Bert (or Bernie as Elliot called them in simpler times). 

Elliot's Birthday Star

As it will appear on CBC Kids on Oct 6.
 

Future Olympic Sport?

Mom won this at our Ashton Family Reunion silent auction and Elliot loves it.
 

Ned Speaks

Hi. I haven't any pictures with me, but there some at home so I hope to have them up soon.

Elliot has been helping us set the table lately. His mom tries really hard to let Elliot help with things around the house. My instinct is to try to do everything on my own really fast so that I can play with Elliot. I have been trying to change, and it is going well. Elliot helps me get food from the freezer in the garage, he helps us get our mail, he helps us wash our car. Elliot is a great help in the kitchen and often helps make cookies, supper, lunch and snacks. He is quite skilled at throwing garbage in the garbage cans.
So the last few days, it has been really neat how he reaches up into the utensils drawer which he can't honestly see into yet, and feels around for the utensils for mom, dad and Elliot. Then he puts the utensils on the table and asks for plateware.

Uncle Clayton is in China. Elliot was so upset with his mom the other day that he said he wanted to go to China too.

Elliot's Grandma and Grandpa A are leaving for Europe on Sunday. They will be there for a long time (like a month) and will be seeing lots of cool things and having a great time with their friends, the Kellys.

We went and got Elliot a construction hat at ToysRUs which brings our grand total contributed to Bill the Millionaire to about fifteen dollars. I also got a couple of Bob the Builder DVDs from the library. Elliot mostly sits there, staring at the screen and asking "Where is Bob?" and "Where is Music?". Elliot really likes the theme song. He also needs to wear his hat while watching the DVDs.

Last saturday, while dad was at a church event, mom and Elliot went Garage Sale-ing and found a nice clean pair of Ernie and Bert puppets for a dollar a piece. Elliot is more enamoured than Condoleeza Rice on a Maritimes tour of Peter Mackay's riding. Ernie and Bert are now involved in every event of every day. They drive with us, they eat with us, they sleep with Elliot.

Pictures soon.

Bloggo Award - September 2006

Any reader of this humble blog will find it anti-surprising that this month's Bloggo Award will be going to un-boring blogger Il Milione. He seems to have found a computer and a little bit of time. His muse? That mysterious stranger named China who will one day rule the world (like, perhaps tomorrow or maybe yesterday).
Allow yourself to be spellcast by his tales of teaching English, befriending Americans and changing the world.
A modern day Bethune.

So how about two cousins?

Yeah. So anyways, Elliot has a cousin coming via Uncle Andrew and (perhaps more importantly) Auntie Cara. Though now we've learned that their baby quantity has changed. Ultrasound today showed two babies. Twins. Two cousins. And Grandma and Grandpa suddenly go from one grandchild to four by February.
Apparently Cara has lots of twins in her family...

Andrea's mom is a twin and, as fate has declared, also an aunt who is a twin. Strange coincidence. However, you don't see us popping out twins.

I will never understand genetics. Nor will I ever believe it. I think it is a faulty science. Up there with witchcraft and scientology. I can't remember which one Tom Cruise is big on...

Proud Papa

Everyone is proud of their own kids, right? So I can brag a little here and not feel bad for doing it?

Elliot can and does sing the following songs unprompted:

Baa Baa Blacksheep
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Lunar Jim theme song
CBC Kids theme song
Oh Canada

he knows all the words to these songs and sings them with the correct tune.

hmmm... there are other songs, I'll have to check with Andrea and get back to you.

Thomas who?

Okay, it isn't quite that serious. He is still somewhat fixated on Thomas the Tank Engine, but his attention has been far more geared towards Bob the Builder as of late. I can see how parenting can become a very expensive hobby. We've been awfully careful not to start spending oodles of money, or even odles of money (seeing as we mostly just have les at the present) but we have bought him a magnetic sticker set with a Bob the Builder theme (bringing our grand total of contributions to the Bob the Builder empire to nearly ten dollars). Now the creator of Bob the Builder (I think his name is Bill the Millionare) can use our ten dollars to go get a fancy drink at Starbucks.
We had spent about forty dollars on Thomas the Tank Engine merchandise prior to Elliot's newest fascination.
Looking for birthday ideas for Elliot? I can temporarily declare that Bob the Builder (or anything to do with diggers, excavators, bulldozers and dumptrucks) would do the trick. Or you can try to guess what new commercial product will sweep him off his feet next. Hopefully not IPods and Playstations.

C Howard Ashton update

Our traveller has pictures on his website. Each morning, his voyages will begin from the humble and mysteriously simple apartment currently featured.

Please help

As most of you may already know, I have been trying dilligently to raise my son to be a fine young englishman. And so, when you see him next, it would be very helpful if you were to:

1.) Tip your bowler and say "good day to you, sir". You could also say "governor" instead of "sir" if you would rather.
2.) Ask him if he would like a "spot of tea".
3.) Offer him some Wensleydale Cheese.
4.) Hum "God save the Queen" and try to make sure its not the subversive American version.
5.) Carry an umbrella everywhere you go.

Thank you so much for your aid in this endeavour. Together, we can make the Queen proud.

Toxic fumes

Elliot has been eating quite a few cupcakes and pickles lately. As a result, his diapers have been really really something. I've been using safety goggles, gloves, face mask and I've been using paint stripper to clean his bum-bum. Am I allowed to say bum-bum on blogger? I guess I'll find out if one of you rat me out! 

Getting into the zoo while on a strict budget.

After driving the whole way with Elliot in the trunk we discovered:
1.) You don't pay admission until you have left your car.
2.) Kids under three are free. 

Elliot loves monkeys.

 

Worth the price of admission

Most of the animals were very good performers today. The zebras, black bears, jaguar, hippo, emus, burros, camels and lemurs all went up really close to people today. The male lion roared (one of the most impressive sounds I have ever heard...wow!). Shadow the Grizzly didn't make an appearance today but we've seen her before.
 

Lemur

These lemurs were putting on quite a show today. Jumping, running, climbing. It was one of the highlights today.
 

Elliot and, possibly, Ned Noodle

 

Before and After

Elliot, taking a break during our trip to the zoo.
 

More hammer stories...

Elliot asked for more Hammer stories tonight. I told a gripping tale of Elliot, Lilly and Caleb finding a hammer shaped hole in Tate's driveway and then enlisting the help of Agents Mulder and Scully from the FBI in determining what caused it.

Not good enough.

I then went into a story of Elliot and his awesome Auntie Amanda going for a walk into a nearby field, being summoned by a puppy desperate for help. The puppy led them to her house where they realized that the puppy's little brother was trapped in a wooden crate. Luckily Elliot had his hammer with him and he freed the puppy and then they all went back to the field for a match of celebratory soccer.

Not good enough.

"Popup hammers the nail." Elliot finally gave me a clue.

With that bit of information, I formed a tale of Elliot flying to Saskatoon, giving his popup a hug and a kiss and going into his popup's backyard. Once in the backyard, Elliot's popup announced that he had been working on a fantastic project that he desperately needed Elliot's help with.
Once in popup's garage, popup revealed a rocket ship made of wood and nails with which he intended to take Elliot to see the moon. Elliot used his hammer, which he had brought with him on the plane(I forgot about post 9-11) to hammer some nails.
"Popup hammer the big nails?" Elliot asked.
Yes Elliot, I answered. Popup hammered the big nails and they finished the rocketship. With the rocketship they flew to the moon where Elliot and popup shared some juice, and cookies and watermelon and scrambled eggs.
Afterwards, they flew back home where Elliot again kissed and hugged his popup before flying back home to bed.

Goodnight Elliot.

Smudgy pictu4res of a smudgy face

Elliot eating "Gamma cakes".

As to the stories I alluded to a few posts ago:

A few weeks ago, Elliot asked quite enthusiastically for his Dad to read to him from his Children's Craft series of books. This, his dad thought to himself, would be a challenge because these books do not actually contain any stories. Instead, they consist of pictures and step-by-step instructions on how to do things like make a castle out of old tinfoil and how to make a space suit out of an old astronaut costume.
But, in order to keep his son happy (for this is now one of the two reasons to live), Elliot's dad pulled the book of choice (Elliot most often chooses the pink book of the series) from the bookcase and turned to a random page. At first, the stories that his dad made up involved the need for sleep. Example:

"Once upon a time there was a boy named Elliot and he and his dad and his mom had a big dinner where Elliot ate all of his food and his mom and dad, proud as they were, said 'way to go Elliot' and they gave him hugs and kisses. Then Elliot and his dad walked to the park and got the mail, then they went home and Elliot had a fun bath where he splashed and sang and let his dad wash his hair without screaming (Elliot screams more often than his dad while washing Elliot's hair). After the bath, Elliot ate all of his snack - which was delicious yoghurt and milk - and went up to his room to read stories with his dad. Then Elliot went to bed and fell asleep all night long and then played quietly in his bed when he woke up in the morning until his dad came in to get him. The end..."

Elliot sat quietly in his chair.

"Was that a good story, Elliot?"
"Yah."
"Are you ready for bed?"
"Yah."

And so he went to bed, quietly, submissively. It was weird, like I had discovered some deep magic spell. Usually Elliot asked for more stories. And then more stories, and he never went to bed without crying.

The next night he asked for more stories from the Child Craft books. And so daddy made up more stories. Stories about dinosaurs, and castles and Misty the cat, and icecream, and clowns and whatever the random pages we chose in those books had pictures of.

Then Elliot became transfixed on Thomas and the stories became more standardized.

"Thomas Train? Okay, yah, good." And I would read his Thomas books (although truthfully Elliot has them all memorized now).

And then two nights ago Elliot asked for "hammer story".

"Hammer story?" I asked. I quickly searched through all of his books to try to figure out what book he was talking about. Nothing matched.

"Must be a book you read with mom?" I asked.

"Yah." Okay, I thought, mom made up a story about a hammer... what should I do.

So I pulled down a Children's craft book again and opened the page to something... kids... balloons. I can't remember.

"Once upon a time," I began, "there was a boy named..."

"Elliot." He replied with a smile.

"That's right. Good job. And Elliot had a very good friend named..."

"Tate!" Elliot excitedly answered.

"True enough, Elliot. And Elliot and Tate loved playing together..."

"Hammer?" Elliot asked.

"Right... hammer. Hammer..." I struggled. "Well, Elliot had in his room... a hammer... that was ten feet tall. Ten feet tall... twice as big as dad. Twice as big as mom. It was a green hammer with pink polkadots."

Ten foot tall hammer, green and pink. Where would you expect a story to go from that point?
Well, for me, it logically led to a mystery. The hammer went missing, where was the hammer? I looked at Elliot and saw great concern in his eyes as this imaginary hammer of his was gone. He asked Tate where it was, he and Tate checked every room in both of their houses and then walked through the nieghbourhood.
So that you can sleep tonight, I'll let you know right away that it turned out that Uncle Andrew took the hammer to his house to surprise Elliot with a fresh coat of green and pink paint. Elliot was surprised and pleased and he and Andrew built a playhouse behind the house using the ten foot tall hammer.

Following the story, I looked at Elliot. Usually I lose Elliot's attention before the end of a long story. In this case, he was staring at the exact same spot on the wall as when I had started. His brain was obviously churning all the details from this harrowing adventure I had just related to him. Heavy breathing. Watering eyes. Some of it was sleepiness. Some of it, I think, was concern for the hammer.

Silence. Ten, twenty seconds pass.

"More hammer story?" He asked.

So I came up with two more hammer stories. One had him fixing things at Saskatoon Grandpa's house with his Grandpa. The other was a story of Elliot and Tate going to the corner store with five dollars and buying a hammer that they could share.

By then, I think, Elliot took pity on me. Obviously the stories were getting worse as time passed.

So he went to bed.

I went downstairs and asked mom to tell me her hammer story. It was pretty good too. Better than any of mine, as a matter of fact. 

Things that tents are meant for

Here are the things which Elliot and Tate like to do with the tent which the tent was not meant for:
1.) Wearing as a hat.
2.) Being climbed under.
3.) Being climbed in and then kicked hysterically.
4.) Being turned onto its side or back or front with people inside of it.
5.) Thrown into the air and ran around by boys who are giggling and, sometimes, cackling.